Dad's different roles at the birth of their baby

This is not an often discussed topic and the role of the father is often overlooked even though they play a crucial role in the delivery process. With Father’s Day soon approaching I feel this might be just the time to spill the tea on what exactly the Father bring to the table in the birthing room.

1. The Ride

The Father is usually the birthing mother’s ride to the hospital. They should therefore know where the birth will take place and how to get there. Make sure the car’s tank has enough petrol as the due date is approaching. Nothing worse than when your car runs out of petrol mid contraction as you might get a fist in the face buddy!

2. The Communications Manager

Have your phone with you and at a reasonable charge level close to the due date. You need to be contactable when it is GO-TIME. You can buy a battery pack for as little as R100 (less than $10) and an extra charger to keep in the car. Most births aren’t fast and you might need some entertainment when contractions slow down at times. You are also the Point of Contact (POC) for all family members and friends who are nosey and needs updates.

3. The Chill Pill

You need to bring the calm on THE DAY. A birthing mother should be focused on the birth and the birth only. Even if your mind is going a thousand miles a minute, fake it until you make it, and assure the mother that you have her, you have everything and you’ve got this.

4. The Brain

Make sure you know what your baby mama needs for the birth and where to find it. Also double check that it is packed in the car before you leave for the hospital. You have to take charge and think for everyone.

5. The Strength

Offer the birthing mother your hand. She needs to know you are there with her and ready to help her should she need you. Allow her to hold on to you and to hang her arms around your neck to try and relieve the pain she is experiencing.

6. The Comfort

Rub the birthing mother’s back, shoulders, feet or hands even massage her head if that is something that she will like and that comforts her. Remember to offer her something to drink often or some food to eat. Don’t eat her snacks, pack/buy your own. Put on some music or light some candles (home birth only) to create a calm birth atmosphere.

7. The Bouncer

At a birth especially a Home Birth, everyone and their mother will want to come into the birthing room either to help or comfort. It is your job to read the room, especially the birthing mother when allowing anyone to enter the birth space. She needs calm and quiet to birth the baby and you are there to make sure that that is what she gets. Don’t let anyone come into the birthing room unless the birthing mother has requested their presence.

8. The Surgeon

You be provided the opportunity to cut the baby’s umbilical cord after birth. The doctor or midwife will guide you so do not be scared you won’t hurt the baby.

9. The Incubator

After your baby is born and the mother is unable to hold the baby, it will be your job to provide skin-to-skin contact to the baby. You will hold the baby against your bare chest to keep the baby warm and feeling loved until they are able to be placed with the mother for their first feed.

Do not underestimate the father’s role at a birth!